It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
