ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
