So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
