Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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