but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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