So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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