woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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