So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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