We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
