I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
