Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize