My room smells like vodka and shame
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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