your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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