My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
