well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
