We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
