i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
