she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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