i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
