He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
