I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
