I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
