Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
