as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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