whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
