Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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