I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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