The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
