pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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