You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
