You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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