So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
