I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
