Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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