Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
