is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
