hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
