Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize