She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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