your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
