he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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