I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
