I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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