you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
