college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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