I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
