I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
