apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
