Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
