I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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