Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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