Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
