is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
