Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
