I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
