Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize