just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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