Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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