If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
