he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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