On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
