No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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