but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
